New email signatures for your iPhone:

  • Sent during a grand mal seizure
  • Sent halfheartedly
  • Sent by bus
  • Dictated to my assistant
  • Sent posthumously
  • Sent while driving
  • Sent with sexual overtones
  • Sent with sexual undertones
  • Sent platonically for the love of god
  • Sent in sincere hopes that you never reply
  • Sent after a cursory scan for major typos
  • Sent after a painstaking analysis of every word and punctuation mark
  • Sent while weeping
  • Sent immediately prior to masturbation
  • Sent as a gesture
  • Sent fecklessly
  • Sent

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